The Power Of Networking While You’re Young (and tips to help get going)
So my journey, man it is certainly all over the place for this topic.
That intro of how I hated the idea of talking to someone new is not exaggerated at all. I did not want to meet new people (maybe that’s why most of the parties I had in high school were at my place).
And it wasn’t that I was shy, I’ve been decently outgoing my whole life but if I remember that feeling of being at a party and all my friends would hit the beer pong table and I’d have to stand next to two guys I never met and try to be “cool”.
Looking back though, these parties are really where my journey of networking started and to be real, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’ll get into this later but if you struggle to make new friends or even just start a conversation, a party or bar is not a bad place to start since you’re sort of forced into the idea of converting.
Eventually, I got sick of that life though and sort of gave up the whole bar and party scene and this turned me into an extreme introvert.
I didn’t want to party and so all I did was sit at home and either watch sports or work on a side hustle I was trying at the time.
You could see this as a positive definitely but it also continued to fuel my idea that I don’t need to go out and meet new people which in my eyes is a pretty big negative if you don’t ever do it.
I went probably a good year or so just not doing anything social which when I reflect on that time, it was a time that I got into my head way too much, didn’t take risks that I should have, and just being honest, my happiness was at a low point.
I got to the point that I was so sick of not even having people to crack jokes with or talk about conspiracy theories with that I knew I had to get out of the shell I built and start meeting people in the city I lived in.
I’ll cover this in-depth in a second but I eventually progressed to loving the idea of an off-the-cuff conversation and meeting new people turned into something I wanted to do, not just felt like I had to.
But if you’re not in this space right now, I totally get that, trust me I know the moments of feeling awkward, isolated, and just feeling like you’re not in the right place, so let’s dive into a few tips I found when working to break out of that shell.
Tips To Start Networking
Like I said at the start, this first one is pretty short and sweet but it’s that if you’re younger (or really even if you’re not) you can start this networking journey at parties or the bar.
1. Have a shot and talk
I remember being told to just have a few shots or a beer or two then go out to get used to the idea of just learning how to start a conversation. So that’s exactly what I did.
Instead of just watching the game at home the whole night. I’d watch the first half, have a few beers (which of course were Busch light, is there really any other option?), and then hit a party or bar to watch the rest.
This allowed me to one, get some fluid confidence going, and two, have a topic I could talk about with others pretty easily. I always knew things about specific teams or players, so the idea of talking to someone I never have met before wasn’t as scary when the topic was extremely familiar.
Hopefully, if you go with this first tip, it doesn’t turn into the only way you go out to meet people or network (especially because professionally this is maybe a pretty frowned-upon approach).
2. Force yourself to talk
So to get a bit more into the professional side, the tip I have here is just to force yourself into situations where you have to have conversations.
Yes, I mean networking events. You know the ones that the goal is to network a little bit?
As awkward as your first few might be, they truly are a good place to work on your conversational skills.
One of the main reasons is because most of the time, you don’t have to be the one who starts the conversation. So many people who go to these are people who have something to talk about whether it’s a business they own, a YouTube channel they’re working on, or of course the ones where their employer forces them to go.
Regardless of what that reason is, they will do the tough part of starting conversations with you, (so those sweaty palms should be a little less damp).
Now when I started to do this, I would practice talking about what my current role (or area of studies) were beforehand since I knew the likely first question was “What do you do”.
I’m not going to lie to you and say I loved all of these events. Some were so small that it was more like a cowboy standoff waiting for one person to start talking and there were definitely the times I met the other introvert waiting for me to start the conversation which hell if I was going to do that.
Overall though, it’s a step in the right direction to learning how to professionally network and not needing a few drinks in me to have conversations with other people my age.
3. Say hi and don’t talk
This next tip was probably my favorite approach to working on getting out of my shell and that’s just a simple hi or compliment to someone next to me.
To some hearing that, you might think “Tommy, that’s my biggest fear, just starting the conversation in general” which to that I say “Who said you had to have a full conversation after you compliment them or say what’s up”.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I would just start the convo and if it progressed because of THEM continuing it, I’d flow with it. If not, well even better because I probably didn’t want to talk to them anyways.
Similar to the episode I had last week, most of the fear you have can be broken down by just one simple act, and in this scenario, that’s the start of a conversation.
If you’re like me, you get the sweaty hands, try to wait for the perfect timing, miss the perfect timing, then feel even more awkward, and that cycle continues in your head until I either say something or walk away with my tail between my legs.
But for real, just say hi. It’s simple, short, and like I said, if they continue the conversation the big thing you have to do is listen, which is tip number four.
4. Learn how to listen, not just talk
Learning how to listen is a skill I think you and I can continue to work on. Everyone, including you and I, are so eager to talk about ourselves that more than half the time we don’t even know what the other person said back to us.
One of the easiest ways to have a conversation is to ask a simple question like “How’d you get into your current job” or “Do you really think the bucks will bounce back after a crappy postseason this year” and let the other person rip on the topic.
I remember one time I asked a person just about a simple t-shirt they were wearing and where they got it thinking I would get a simple answer back. Well 10 minutes later, I heard all about how their buddy started the clothing line in his dorm room, expanded to a few states, transitioned into coffee sales, and now wants to move into online courses.
And the beautiful thing about it, I didn’t have to say a word, I just listened.
Now there are a ton of different tips that might be better for you or not involve a beer or two but the key is just trying them out and seeing how it goes. Scary, I get it, but there is a lot in my life that has come from just networking a bit more than the usual so let’s dive into the power behind networking whether it’s for professional reasons or just a simple conversation.
The Power Of Networking
Let’s start off the usual just to hit on them quickly.
These are the ones you hear about a lot which are potential job opportunities, making new friends which I hit on a good amount, or growing a company that you’ve started.
All great things but from the networking I’ve done, there is a good amount of other positives to having conversations and I’ll speak to my journey in my career and as a creator as well as just some positives from casual networking.
Power of networking for your career
From the career and creator perspective, there are three things I’ve gained from conversations that have certainly been a major benefit.
Gain new ideas
First is just gaining new ideas. If you’ve heard this before skip 10 seconds, but it’s that the best way to get new ideas is to break out of your routine and experience new things, conversations certainly being one of those.
This podcast actually stemmed from a conversation I had with a guy at a coffee shop. I started a simple convo with just asking how he liked the new MacBook and after a bit of chatting about where we work and some plans we had, he mentioned how his friend recently started a podcast talking about career change.
It came at a perfect time since this is when I was looking to make my switch into marketing but after giving it a listen, it sparked the thought of how I could not only improve my communication skills but also potentially help someone else if I share from the experiences I have.
I can’t remember the guy’s name but if you hear this, let me know and the next coffee is on me.
Gain perspective (and a partner?)
The second and third piece of the career and creator piece is that you can gain a better perspective on what you’re working on and even potentially find a partner to go to bat with.
More than half the reason I like to talk to new people is to just hear their side of a topic whether I agree or disagree with it, to me it’s interesting to hear. I’ve consistently asked new Instagram followers on my podcast Instagram about any feedback they have since it might open my eyes up to adjustments I should make that I don’t even know about.
One of my favorite sayings is that it’s hard to know what you don’t know. To me, this just shines a spotlight on why networking is important because that other person might know or see what you or even your current social circle don’t.
Power of networking on the casual side
Now onto the casual side it really just breaks down into the potential to have experiences you wouldn’t have had without that conversation and some good laughs along the way.
Now those laughs might be at yourself for how awkward you were, I’ve been there plenty of times. Like the time I had a good 30-second conversation with someone who was actually on the phone with someone else. You can never trust those one-ear AirPod people…
But many times it’s laughs just from the conversation I have with them. Whether that’s touching on sports, comedians we like, or something that happens near us while we’re talking, there normally isn’t too many dull moments.
The experience piece, well to me that’s what life is about, experiencing new things. Think if you would’ve never talked to your current best friend because you were nervous or didn’t want to be weird. You would’ve never had a lot of the great memories you have and maybe not been able to find someone you can beat at poker consistently (which would be a shame on your wallet).
There is so much to be gained from networking that in my head it outweighs the nerves, weird convos, or even the odd occasion someone isn’t the nicest.
But I do understand the tough time it can be to get started, so remember you could just say hi and let them talk if they want, force yourself into situations where you have to talk, or just have a shot or two and hit the bar for the big game you’d watch at home anyway.
From one recovered introvert to potentially another, just be yourself, have fun with it, put your phone away (no one texted you), and take time for yourself when you need to. There is definitely nothing wrong with chilling at home or not saying hi to that person next to you.
But for myself, there was something wrong when I didn’t leave the house for a few days and only talked to my family, so get out there and learn the power of networking for yourself.
