How I Work To Overcome Self Doubt And Fear
So fear and doubt are interesting to talk about. I don’t think you ever perfect the craft of not having either of them and they’re different for a lot of people.
You could be scared of heights, while one of my main bucket list items is to jump out of a plane, and with that, I can’t say that your fear isn’t real just like you can’t say my fear of open water isn’t real either.
The one thing I will say though is that everyone goes through feelings of fear and doubt. It doesn’t matter who it is.
Think about your favorite musician (blink 182 is the correct answer by the way). Whoever you just thought of still has fear about what they do or want to do, be it venture into a new type of music or stop producing altogether.
They also still have doubts, whether it’s just before getting on stage or right after releasing that new album.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is that if you think fear goes away with accomplishing more, that’s not really the answer.
Let’s use my podcast for example. I had (and still do at times) a tone of fear about sharing what I believe in and my thoughts about certain subjects. Even as I continue to release episodes and even get some good feedback from people, that fear is still there.
Now it’s less than when I first started but ultimately still there and my guess is that even if this thing gains real traction, I’ll still have something inside of me that fears releasing that next episode or even better, doubts that next episode will perform well.
A simple way to put it is that as you grow and gain confidence, that fear and doubt also do. Now that might be in a different form of fear or a different area of doubt, but it’s still there in some capacity. So let’s get into how to notice when fear and doubt are holding you back.
How To Notice When Fear And Doubt Are Holding You Back
So these are normally pretty noticeable and that’s mainly because you know when you either fear something you’re about to do or have doubts that it’ll turn out okay but I’ll break it down into three things I notice in myself if I’m holding back.
You act less than you should
The first one being I act less than I should. These days it’s so easy to gain information that at times it can be a great scapegoat for not working toward what you’re going after.
Think to yourself how many times you’ve said “I just need to figure out this last thing before I fully commit” or “I just need another month before I really get going”. I’m just spitballing here but my guess is that you really don’t need to figure out that last thing or need that next month, you just either fear the action you’re about to take or doubt that it’ll be worth it. We’ve all been there but this is normally when you’re at what I call an information roadblock.
It’s not that you don’t have everything you need, it’s that you want to have everything you need before getting going, which in my life so far, has never been the case. I’ve never had everything or had it all figured out before starting and that’s okay, you can figure it out as you go.
You stretch out your timeline
The second one plays into this one pretty well but it’s that you stretch out your plan or the goal you have in terms of when you can get it done.
Let’s go back to this podcast for example. I have a goal of 1000 downloads by the end of the year. Now let’s just say, I’m not too close to having that become a reality.
My first thought when I put that plan into action was to just push it off until next year and give myself another 12 months to hit it.
That would just be me doubting I can do it this year. Doubting that I can market well, produce better as the weeks go on, and come up with topics I actually want to cover.
The longer you put off or delay the goal or plan you have, the more that doubt and fear will continue to kick in when you actually hit the ground running because you’re telling yourself you don’t believe it’ll happen.
You struggle to talk about your goal or plan
And now the last thing I notice when I’m holding myself back because of fear or doubt is that I struggle to talk about what I’m doing or the plan I have with others.
Again, this is a great way of noticing that you either don’t believe it’ll happen (aka doubt) or that you are worried the response will be something negative (aka fear).
Just think back to the musician you thought of (hopefully Blink 182) and how certain you are about them being the best out there. You don’t hold back on this belief because you’re scared that others will think you’re wrong or that you doubt the artist’s talents. You just believe it and move on.
And I get that all of these can be extremely tough on you early on in a new goal or plan you have, so let’s dive into how I’ve worked to fight the fear and doubt that I have had and how you can apply it to your situation.
How To Fight Fear And Doubt
Take more action
To be real with you, the best (and first tip) here is probably the best and most efficient one.
And that’s just to take more action. That could be just a simple quarter-mile walk towards your workout goal or signing yourself up to do a marathon in a year, there’s commitment in both scenarios.
Bringing it back to this podcast for me, I stopped releasing episodes for close to a year and a lot of that had to deal with doubting that what I was doing was worth it (and to be honest, that doubt creeps in still).
But the way I got back on the horse was I just committed to writing one script. I didn’t have to record it, heck I didn’t even have to tell anyone. I just needed to make that small step forward and see what happened after.
As I’m guessing you can tell, that one step turned into fully diving back in and that’s because once you continue to take any action toward what you fear or doubt, you’ll start to notice that both of those are more in your head and not the real truth behind what you’re doing.
“but Tommy, I’ve heard this 1000 times…” Yup, you’re darn right you have and that’s because it freaking works. Trust me I was sick of hearing it as well but eventually gave in to the annoying motivational quotes and video clips and not to a big surprise, it works.
Now getting into the next two, these are normally when you’re doing some of what you want but just struggle to keep it up because of either fear or doubt.
Give yourself a reward for staying consistent
The first of these two being give yourself some type of reward for staying consistent, NOT for getting to where you want.
I’m guessing if you are anything like me, half of what’s holding you back is that you don’t stay consistent in any capacity.
One week you’re reading that book every single day to figure out how to flip houses, the next week you’re back to “How do you keep a plant alive” (okay again, maybe that’s just me…) but you get my point.
So much of what I do is based on just giving it one more (which is tip number 3).
Do one more
Most days I don’t want to post on social media or do that 20-minute workout, but every day I wake up I tell myself “Just do it today and you can take a break tomorrow”.
This has gotten me through so many different struggles and tough times because all I commit to is one more and you can too. If you are scared of committing to something or doubt it’ll be worth it, you don’t have to commit to a year of it, just do it one more time and see how you feel after.
And I’m not anywhere close to perfect.
Sometimes when I say “Do it today and I can take a break tomorrow”, I take a dang break the next day. Heck even sometimes for a week.
It sort of goes back to tip 1 of just taking more action since I can at least say I did it today and if it takes me a week to do it again, that’s better than not doing it ever again.
Like I said at the beginning fear and doubt are tough things to talk about for just you and me.
Your fears are different than mine and your level of doubt is likely different than mine.
To you, I might sound confident and to others, I might sound like a scared podcaster.
So I can’t say what will 100% work for you when it comes to fighting both fear and doubt but what I can say is that most times, when you fight through either of those, that feeling on the other side is one of the best you’ll ever feel.
And with that, this ends another episode of the Progress Journal. As always, I appreciate you taking the time to listen and if you’re looking for additional resources, go to the blog link in the description and scroll to the bottom, you’ll find those resources there.
If you also could take the time to subscribe and rate this podcast as well as give any positive or negative feedback, I’d truly appreciate it. I want to continue to work on being better and showing up for you guys and that feedback truly helps. Until next time, peace.
