Common Challenges With Trying To Be Motivated
Oh motivation, the word you hear on many instagram reels, read all over the place on LinkedIn, and still don’t get why at times you aren’t motivated.
Maybe that’s just my feeds and thoughts but my guess is you’ve been in a similar spot before.
Let’s start off with what motivation is to me. Simply put, I see it as the desire or need to complete a task or journey for both internal and external reasons. But to make it a bit easier to understand here are two examples of what I mean.
The first one is that you desire that you eventually want to become a pilot because you’ve always wanted to. (You have the desire to be a pilot and the reasoning is internal, because you’ve always wanted to)
The second one is that you need to increase you income $200 a week because if you don’t you won’t have enough money to cover your bills. (Your need is money and the reason is external with you paying your bills)
Hopefully that cleared it up a bit, if not, ignore what I just said and stick around for the common challenges and tips.
Before we get into those though, I do want to explain to you why I believe it’s important to have at least one thing you’re motivated towards doing or accomplishing.
When I was young, I never really had too much motivation other than around sports but nothing that was extremely long term other than those hopeful wins. As I’ve grown up, I’ve been extremely motivated through a few different outlets and one of the main benefits of it has been it’s given me a reason to keep pushing myself to learn and experience new things.
These two are a common topics of this blog/podcast and if you’re sick of hearing them, you might want to skip a few episodes/blogs, but they really are what give my life, well life. Otherwise I think the day to day grind without these every now and then would be pretty boring.
Now the other benefit of having at least one thing to stay motivated towards is that you get out of your own head, out of the rut you might be in, and you’re energized for each day or week you get to work on what you’re motivated towards.
Think back to the last time you were truly motivated. Maybe that was to crush that final finance exam because it allowed you to actually pass the class.
I’m guessing you created flash cards even though you haven’t before and maybe even went to the school library for the first time in your last semester as a senior (just me again? Cmon others have to have had a rough college gpa…).
Anyways, you do things that you know will help get you the result you want and you’re energized to do so.
But Tommy, how do I get through not being motivated? We’ll get there don’t worry but let’s see if I can guess why you aren’t motivated first and then give you a few tips on how to get through it.
Common Challenges With Being Motivated (And Tips To Help)
I’m just going to list these off and then give the tips right after them so if you find the one you’re struggling with, you can go act on it before your next class or meeting (but I would stick around to see if you struggle with a few…).
1. You don’t have a true reason
Alright, number one is that you don’t have a reason to complete what you want or need to that actually matters to you. An example from my life is that I previously wanted to have a successful YouTube channel, I mean how cool would that be?
Now I thought that my reason behind this was because I wanted to be recognized as a great creative but after not posting videos and wondering why I struggled so much, I finally was truthful that the reason I wanted that channel success was I only wanted the money behind that channel, not the recognition (or hard work) that came with it.
The tips for not having a true reason are mainly internal.
1a. Be honest with yourself
The first one being you just need to be honest with yourself from the start. If the goal is to make money and you don’t care about being a creative, say that.
It doesn’t mean you’re working on the wrong path or that your reason is dumb but the more you lie to yourself, the harder it is to be motivated because the motivation isn’t tied to the true reason you want to do it in the first place.
1b. Flip it to the negative
The second tip for not having the true want or need is that you can flip it to the negative. If your goal is to make money and you definitely don’t care about being a creative than think about it as that if you don’t accomplish this goal then you won’t be able to travel as much as you want.
You use what you don’t want to happen to fuel the work towards the goal so that it does happen. Be careful if this common challenge is yours though. You might be going down the wrong path and just want the reward without the work (something I had early in my 20s and didn’t realize till the past year, it’s a long and frustrating road to be on).
2. You’re comparing yourself too much
Getting into common challenge to being motivated number two, it’s that you’re constantly comparing yourself to what others are doing.
Likely when you do this, you see the lack of accomplishment or knowledge that you have compared to the people you’re watching or listening to which just reaffirms that you shouldn’t be doing this (or be motivated to do it) at all.
This is a common one in the time of social media. You get interested in a topic. Gain motivation behind it. Then your feed fills up with that topic and you see all the other people already doing great and then you get discouraged.
A common challenge in the life of Tommy Ciampa. I can get so addicted to one topic that I want to succeed in that I then follow everyone whose had success in that area to study them but then just find myself watching them succeed instead of actually putting in work to succeed myself.
2a. Limit social media use
Simple first tip here. Set limits to your social media use since this is likely where that comparison is coming from and not so much the people you see on a regular basis.
And I’m serious, don’t just say “I’ll only go on instagram for an hour a day”, actually block yourself from opening it.
There are plenty of apps and settings that can help you do this, so if you don’t it’s really on you and you’re just feeding the challenge you have to being motivated.
2b. Reach out
The second tip for comparison is to reach out to the people you’re comparing yourself to and ask what it was like for them at the stage you’re at.
Now I get you might not be able to connect with your favorite YouTuber or Podcaster (if it’s me, I might be pretty busy but trust me I’m easy to get a hold of lol).
But if you reach out to enough of your comparison people, likely one will respond, and I’ll bet you that they say they had a lot of the same roadblocks and nerves you currently have when they were at that stage.
I did this with a medium sized podcaster a few months back when I was looking to make my return and man did it relieve some of the stress and pressure I put on myself, so don’t think what you’re going through is special. They likely went through it at one point as well.
3. You’re being told what you want or need
Enough about comparison though, the third common challenge I’ve had with being motivated is that I was being told what I wanted or needed when it really wasn’t what I wanted or needed.
Just being truthful here, this is likely coming from family or close friends. Maybe it’s even why you graduated with the degree you currently have or are working towards.
I know for me, it was the reason I went to college at all. At 18, I didn’t really want to go but my dad (as loving as he is) was pretty upfront that I needed to so I could have a successful career.
I got the “if you don’t go, you’ll either make very little money or work extremely hard for okay money” talk and with that he had me convinced it was what I needed to do (even though it wasn’t what I wanted to).
3a. Work through what they’re telling you
Since going through this one, if I could go back and work through this common challenge with a clear head, the first tip I’d give myself is to take time by myself to work through this quote on quote need by listing out why I was going to do what I was about to do.
If this is the challenge behind your lack of motivation and you do this first tip, you likely won’t come up with many great reasons as to why you’re about to do it and likely will come up with many reasons you don’t need or want to do it.
3b. Have a real conversation with them
Now this leads into tip number two when being told what you want or need by someone other than yourself and it’s not a fun one.
You just need to have a real conversation with the other person or people who are telling you what you want or need.
No, not the one where you put on a smiling face or a mask to hide behind to keep them happy or impressed but a real one where you explain to them what you actually want and be truthful with who you actually are.
If I would’ve done this with my dad before college, I’m sure I would’ve made him pretty disappointed for a bit but my guess is that I would’ve proven that I didn’t need that degree after all (and would’ve save a good amount of money along the way).
Just grow up a bit and have that conversation. It’s not fun, it might be scary, and you might hurt the other persons feelings but if it’s to be the real you, then in my book it’s work it.
4. You don’t understand what you need or want
Not onto the last common challenge I had when struggling to be motivated which is that I didn’t understand that I actually needed the thing I needed so I didn’t care from the start.
Let me give you example so you know what I mean.
For me, I drank a lot throughout my teen years, a bit too much probably but there is nothing to do about it now.
I likely needed to stop partying and drinking so much but at the time I didn’t understand that’s what I actually needed, so I didn’t care to slow down or to stop altogether.
This can be a scary challenge behind motivation because you don’t actually have any motivation to start with or even know you should have that motivation.
4a. Start asking for feedback
This is a great time to start asking for feedback, which is tip number one here.
Like I’ve said before, you don’t know what you don’t know and so I always recommend you ask for feedback from people close to you pretty consistently to see if there is something you don’t know but should.
Just like the conversation tip before, this isn’t always a fun one because that feedback might not be what you want to hear (but it might what you need to hear).
After gaining this feed back though is where the second tip comes in and that’s again just to have an honest conversation with yourself. Most of the time we know that we need to do something but we often try to hid behind another reason as to why we won’t or don’t need to do it.
Going back to my story, I hid behind the fact that my drinking was a way to have fun and make new friends.
Both true things but I didn’t HAVE to drink to do either of them and if I was honest with myself, I might have been losing friends and making my life more stressful at the same time.
I could have still gone out and had fun but with just a few less or no drinks altogether.
But I get that motivation isn’t an easy thing to have or find when you’re struggling to even get going. There have been many things I’ve wanted or needed that I just can’t get that motivation to actually do it.
But to close this out, I will say that you won’t feel motivated all the time (even if you’re doing what you should or want to).
The boring tasks are really what I believe separate those who find success in what they’re going after and those who don’t in the same area.
They find a way to do them even when they don’t want to, when it doesn’t look sexy to, or when they down right just suck to do.
So if motivation is an area you’re struggling with, my best words are good luck and just get going. My tips might not be what help you but I do challenge you to find a solution if they don’t instead of just doing nothing. Because what you’re doing or going after won’t always be fun and easy but isn’t that where the great stories come from?
